Why is it when I see other people and their flaws I think that’s what makes them beautiful, but yet when I notice my flaws I think I’m just another step further from beauty. You guys are BEAUTIFUL :)
joanne, my dear, that’s where you’re wrong. you ARE beautiful. everything you do makes you even more beautiful. flaws are just flaws. if someone really loved you, they would look past your flaws and focus on your strengths. :] i love you, joanne lam! <3 teehar.
Theresa, that just showed how beautiful of a person you are. You made me feel good :) thanks<3
so today wasn’t what I expected, but you get what you can. city walk, nooo call. Bubba Gump :) then when I was disappointed at home my mom calls me and says “I miss you can you come and hug me” as she was upstairs. My mother knows when to make me better :) Even though she laid on me for a while we had a little conversation that was full of laughter. She even said she’ll get me a late birthday&christmas gift. Well she said surprise, but then since I’m talking it about it, most likely won’t happen. It was still nice to hear :) she just hugged me and kept saying I love you, thank you mother<3 Dad, I hope you feel better too! That’s my Christmas for you.
I have never learned to hate people as much as I hate you guys. I don’t know what I did to deserve you people as my family. You are in my blood, but yet I can not stand any of you guys. You think you are cool because you decide to leave my family out of your clique. Well fuck you, I don’t need you guys. First you make my mother suffer, then now to me, soon enough it will be George. You guys can leave us the fuck alone. I never had so much anger inside of me for anyone, yet you guys are family. You guys can do without us and we can do without you. You guys are lucky you guys are related to my dad otherwise he wouldn’t have to do anything with you guys. He doesn’t deserve people like you. Well you know what? We don’t care, we can do without your guys’ love. We have more love and care among my family of four than all of you 10+ people. Look at the roof you’re under, who the fuck takes care of your ass. That’s right, my mom. You guys don’t give a fuck -___- I’ve had it with you guys. You can get out of my life, one less thing to stress about. You guys are just a bunch of fake people. I hope someone reads this. You guys are nothing to me. I’ve wasted enough time with you guys. Why would I stay around for you to just use me again? The ones that loved me most are slowly dying away. I miss you grandma, grandpa, and uncle. I’m left with these bastards who don’t give a fuck about me. I officially have no more grandparents to look up to because why would I want to turn into you guys? You guys are plain evil. It’s one thing to hurt me, but you have left my mom in a constant struggle just for my family to stay together, get the fuck out of our business. Now it’s George? Honestly, are you guys that low, go love the other bastard who doesn’t know anything about respect. You think you only hear these kind of stories in the movies or books, but no sir, my family lives this shit everyday. I don’t think it’s my dad’s fault he has to defend your guys’ asses. He’s your child. You think you’re saving him by trying to get my mom out of his life because she brings him down? No, no. You’re hurting your own kid by splitting him in half between his parents and family. You guys think you are so smart right? With your little smart remarks. I HATE YOU! And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Even if you guys understood the pain you have put us through, honestly you would just pat yourself on the back. So go ruin someone else lives. Go praise those wonderful children and grandchildren of yours. Don’t forget to leave us out, oh wait it’s been like that for 18 years. I’ve had it up to here, I swear today I am officially done with you guys. Don’t bother to come back into my life. Leave my mom and brother alone. Watch how you treat my dad at least, since he’s the only one who would bother to speak to you. Have wonderful life, don’t screw up anymore lives. Goodbyeforever and I mean that.
I know it been so long since you left, but i still miss you as it was yesterday you went away..
you left so suddenly..i wish i could go back to tell you i love you and hug you good bye for one last time.. i miss you grandma..you were a great grandmother and you are being missed by everyone in the family and friends..you are still in my heart and always will be..i will never stop missing you grandma..you will always be remember in the best ways..
I know what you are going throughMark i hope this make you feel better..:)
roasted marshmallows, can’t hear, blah :( homework needs to be started soon. after taste of marshmallows, not too great. I keep wanting little snacks. you think you know, but no one really has any idea. I wrote it. I hope this doesn’t make sense :) motivation out the window. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFFANY<3 I love you little one. apparently water is in my ear. fight everyday. am I wrong? no christmas?!</3 someone save me. I wish I enjoyed stuff more. I hope all this food doesn’t add weight :( I lost it all for winterball yet its back. Sounds like everyone’s talkign through a fan. famILY<3 babysitting all next week. I miss my best friend :( christmas party yesterday, tamales! I forgot to take a box home :( okay I’m done. I want food. BOILING CRAB :(
ahhh I guess enough has gone by. Winterball :)<3 Sagaths movie night. Mall today. Christmas party tomorrow. tears. I have liked the weather lately. period coming soon :( I am so full. I finally got my biodegradable spoon! it is pink. cup full of uneaten yogurt :) sleep tonight :) Tamales! I want the sweet one. I wish life was easier. A lot of homework to get through. Babysitting all next week. Pillow making tonight :)
"When I am alone, I have me time; When I am alone, I have no reason to hold back these tears; When I am alone, I can truly express myself; When I am alone, no one can judge me; When I am alone, no one can see me; When I am alone, I have no one to impress; When I am alone, I can finally breathe; alone."
I’m so tired, I wish I can sleep more!</3 Yesterday night was great :) Olive Garden was delicious! Thank you guys for buying me dinner!<3 The somethingsomething I got was yumm :) then the cake was great, I loved how Ivy tried to be sneaky by texting everyone, then ended up texting me also about the cakes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA:) I miss Ashley :( We had a long talk and it was great, so was the jacket she got for me…but I can’t forget the card, blow me (don’t ask) there was a weird couple behind us to as Amanda said “there was some thrusting in the lower region.” hahaha I didn’t see though, thank goodness. Well thank you Ashley, Ivy, Amanda, Jazmin, Jeanette, Raynise, Micheal, Matt, Angelo, Ron, Terrence. And we would of washing dishes if it wasn’t for Ron, thanks! Well done with birthday celebrations, thanks everyone :) It was more than I expected, since I didn’t expect anything. 17…one year from 18.
I had a bad start! I forgot my bag with all my school stuff at home, spilled water :( but then I had my history test ahhh! the classes flew by, SAGATHS meeting! sweaters!<3 :) I tried to nap after school, but then I couldn’t until 3? then knocked out til 4! went to tutoring, finished homework on time. Albertos with johnny now home :) relax!<3
i hope you’re having an amazing 17th birthday. i’m sorry i gave you the worst hug in the world today. ): i wanted to make you cupcakes but you weren’t gonna go to ATC today and i didn’t have enough money to buy cake mix.. yeeaah. have a fantastic onee!
p.s. i don’t have a picture of us.. ): so i can’t post it up.
Awwwww thanks theresa! I love you!<3 thank you for even thinking of it!
was awesome! I love Ivy, we had such a fun time. Philippe’s! Olvera street with pouring rain and closed stores (we were late!) cathedral, very pretty. tour of music halls. MOCA, interesting stuff! Me and Ivy also had overpriced drinks. MOCA 2 in little tokyo. Little tokyo! stores then…delicious SUSHI, which Ivy paid thanks! It was my pre-birthday celebration :) Then when we got back to meet up, perfect timing first ones on the bus then a nice exhausting bus ride home! I then saw Johnny after 3 days :( Picked up George Lam, went to target. Tried make-up while he ate. Now shower and maybe doing my hair tomorrow! :)
this week has gone by pretty quick, but then at the same time all this homework slows it down. Essay due tomorrow and I have started it three different ways now! I feel like a fool. I was so hungry today, I had a bagel all day until 9:00. I don’t think I can quite finish The Red and the Black yet :( I have this essay and physics still. What a long night ahead. Birthdays tomorrow. I hope I don’t crash, why am I taking essay time for this? I don’t know, I have been distracted a lot today. Saturday is the first Saturday I can sleep in for the past 8+ weeks? My bags under my eyes are getting more noticeable. This is it, maybe more later on! Goodnight for now :)
The last two days have been easy just for all the homework to be piled on today! I knew this was coming, that’s why I’m weirdly calm about it. I am still sick, I believe I have relapsed unfortunately. Tonight I will write a draft, I must. I didn’t finish The Red and the Black as I had intended to last night 50 40 pages to go! That will also be a goal, easy A for the rest of the tests come on! I got an A on my Spanish test! I am having a lot of thoughts about it now. I should write a poem. This is a very selfish blog, but maybe I needed it! Okay time to think and write. I am trying to figure out Facebook also. Now I’m done :)
Yay, today is “Joanne should cook day” :) Some chicken with pasta anyone for dinner<3 another fun trip with Johnny to Ralphs :) I had a healthy shop, since I have decided to quit fast food and sodaof course thatjunk food So it started last Tuesday, there for its been 7 DAYS; Okay I took too much time on here, I need to start on my essay tonight :( then finish The Red and The Black tonight :) Okay goodnight tumblr!<3
I’m making some potatoes! I am very hungry :( I am still sick wtf, sorry for those that see my cough attacks :( I am going to tutoring late ah! well I will go now, I was very tired, and couldn’t because of food, okay burning potatoes!